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This *is* the social norm where you live, and therefore by definition socially appropriate. If you would love a child who is gay, why is it so not-OK to sleep with a man that every child must learn that there is something wrong with it? Regarding the socially-appropriate argument (versus the accidental-contact-in-the-night argument), it evaporates in the face of the fact that in your son's circle of friends they sleep in the same bed at sleepovers. And who is to say that sleeping with another man is automatically not OK? A hundred years ago and more, it was quite common (and not for sexual reasons). Regarding your statement "I am turning into a man and sleeping with another man is not OK," well, see the above, he is not turning into a man yet, and more power to him for staying a kid as long as he can, life is tough enough. The raciest thing they would do is fart jokes, not sex jokes. (I've never met a man who says he actually saw one, but they all know what they were supposed to be.) But again, none of this sounds like where your son is developmentally right now, he sounds more like my nephew, still a boy and rather innocent. Even years ago, it was common for girls to practice kissing with their girlfriends so they will know what to do with their boyfriends when they get one, there was even a joke about it in "A Chorus Line." And there are legions of jokes about "circle jerks" in Boy Scout camp. Also, experimentation that is not accidental is rather common (and has been for generations) as kids begin to go through puberty, but it is not done accidentally at night. If they even noted it, it would be something they would shrug off. Even if it did, at this stage in his life, it sounds like it would be accidental. If you are genuinely worried that something physical might happen, forget it. Regarding that you feel like he is being socially inappropriate, and where is his concern that boys don't sleep in the same bed? (in other words, why is *he* not aware that someone might brand him gay, or that he might get an erection and rub against his friend, or whatever) - I have some thoughts on this. What I was saying is that gay is not contagious, and evidently your social circle is aware of that too. I didn't think you were worried about what if some day if your son tells you he is gay. Personally boys at that age should not be encourage that is ok for them to be sleeping with another boy specially when they still haven't shown any interest in girls yet they are learning that is OK to be with another guy in the same bed even if is all platonic? Thoughts from other parents?
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But what matters is that at that age a boy's body is functioning just like a man with equal desires and hormones affect all boys at the same age. But that is something totally different and so far non present. I don't get that at all and that if one day he tells us that he is gay then all my support and love for him. Our son doesn't even talk about girls and my wife tells me that his friends are the same and more into videos and other things and not too worry that he is not gay. And trust me when it comes for us in most of Europe to see nudity as something very natural at the beach, tv, pools, parks etc, as not a big deal I am very open minded. But again my European education was quite different than the USA education or mentality. I grew up in Spain and I rarely slept with any of my guy friends pass the age of 8 or 10. My wife thinks is OK for 14 yrs old boys to be sleeping in the same bed and her reasoning is, "well they all do it." Finally she ok for us to buy an air mattress for future friends visit over our home. When any of our son's friend do come over to stay they sleep in the same bed.